Write It Out
Write It Out is an ode to all of my friends and family that are consistently praying for me and loving me from afar. “Where are you at now!?”, is the sound of communities that I’ve been blessed to be a part of and that have continually helped me to evolve. Over the past few years I’ve been trying to keep friends and loved ones abreast of travels and the ways in which I’ve been transformed time and time again by all of my experiences. This space is where I will be able to do all of these things.
I lived in Seattle, WA., for 11 years. I turned thirty within a few months of unpacking my bags. During this time, I would have my dream job(s)- personal trainer and custom framer- get married, start several businesses- Be the Light Life Coaching and Andro Barbershop- get my dream car, and cultivate a beautiful community for myself. When COVID hit, it became immediately clear to me that I wasn’t where I wanted to be. I’m not referring to just physically. I mean all of it. Inside of my quietest spaces, when it was just me, no distractions, I could feel that I’d lost something that made me who I was.
Maybe it was a Tuesday night, could’ve been a Wednesday, and I was walking around my small-sized 2 bedroom apartment, soon after a solo sit with some MDMA. My side effects were usually very cerebral. I would start getting clarity and understanding different perspectives that usually felt too overwhelming to fully process. I should include that this was while being in over a year of COVID unknowns. I watched my feet glide over the butterscotch wooden planks as I paced my apartment. My hands would find themselves resting, My right hand clutching my left wrist behind my back, my own signal to witness…me. What’s gonna happen next? I looked out my living room windows at the mountainous horizon and thought to myself, “This isn’t it. There is more in you, and there is more for you. There has been too many years since you’ve had a real A’ha! It’s time to go tap back in. Tap into opinions different than yours, experiences you haven’t seen or heard of just yet. It is time for more of you. There is no growth when there is sameness all around. You are not doing enough to utilize all that you are.”
On September 30th, I packed up my apartment of 8 years. The very next day I would have my fibroid surgery. I lived with family for 2 weeks. I left for Vegas for a few days. I returned to Seattle and before unpacking my bag I had an impromptu invite to hang out with with other artists on one of the neighboring islands for a few days. I felt safe for a moment. I would house sit for a friend for about a month, and by December 22, I was driving off to become a version of myself I hadn’t yet known.